isn't this a legend?
by professor lazyass
Summary: maybe he is in denial. maybe he is dying. maybe. maybe, maybe, maybe. / / beck-centric \ \ jade&beck / /  slightly edited ending \ \ poll fic #2 / /


**A/N: **So this is the Beck-centric for my poll people. God, you guys are seriously saving me from writer's block, but it's a lot of hard work too. Ah well. I don't really know what to say, other than I'm sorry this is really, really short… but I kind of wanted it to be. I dunno. I'm trying an all lowercase style, cause it's super pretty… tell me how it works out?

This is based off of Masquerading with Shadow's "get me out of my mind", or more specifically, Beck's part. I'm not sure if this is considered stealing… so this prompt belongs to her, but if you're reading this M, I can take it off if you want.

**edit: **lol, for anyone that noticed, i put Marylin Manson instead of Monroe... i was thinking of System of a Down... my bad. D:

**edit 2: **so i re-read this for like the fourth time and decided the ending is screwed up, along with the italics. so i'm fixing it.

So, uh, bye. I guess.

/ /

**isn't he pretty? **

/ /

marylin monroe is a hollywood legend. the hollywood legend. she's talented, she's a sex icon, she's beautiful.

she also died young.

but everyone remembers her, right? they remember her movies, her looks, her life, her name. she's a legend, an amazing, fucked up, lenged. she's in the spotlight, living on forever and always and then some. and as beck enters his first audition, he wants to be remembered, too.

/ /

they tell him that you need looks and talent to be in this business, and hey - he's got both. but maybe that's not enough. maybe he needs to put on a little more makeup (shut. up.), or maybe he should've done a few more crunches. maybe, maybe maybe. maybe it'll all end, and he'll finally be wonderful enough.

or maybe not.

/ /

he's kind of got this thing called an eating disorder. jade yells at him, tries forcing him to eat. he won't budge, though, and soon enough it's at an extreme. he'll live off of one fourth of some oatmeal and a bottle of water ever day; and maybe he can also have one quarter of an apple for dinner. but probably not. no need for those extra carbs. right?

jade tells him he's fine the way he is, over and over again, desperately. but he'll just shake his head and push the plate away. she doesn't understand.

/ /

jade never gives up on him. she continues to try and try and try; beck smirks, knowing she's just as stubborn as ever. she wraps her arms tightly around him at night, in bed, probably afraid he'll disappear. he kind of hopes he will.

(people will remember him, right?)

he goes to a photo shoot for his first movie, and he swears to god he's about to pee his pants. jade tells him she'll slap him, starving or not, if he does. ironically enough, she's his costar. he has to wear swimming trunks, and the costume designer and hair stylist and makeup artist look at him strangely, silently. constantly. he ignores it and glares at himself when he looks into the mirror. his tan is gone, replaced with a white that's even paler than jade's. he's skin and bones, but all he sees is u g l y. he walks out of the dressing room, and into the room. there's a green screen and lights and those weird umbrella-type things. he gulps, and jade is biting her lip garbed in a bright pink swim-suit, that is so unlike her, not really knowing how bad the damage is. he sighs and pulls off the robe. and then the room is silent. deadly silent, too silent. no one moves. all eyes are on him. he looks up from the floor and slowly glances at jade. she's crying. in public. he knows she hates that, and he hates himself for making her.

but she'll remember this, right? they all will, and he'll smile at the magazines that talk about him. they remember. they all will. maybe.

/ /

jade breaks down crying when they get home. she hits him in the chest, still crying. she slaps him in the face, still crying. she tells him he's sick, still crying. she tells him she loves him, no matter what. still crying. he'll gulp and peel off her hands with his own deathly skinny ones. he tells her she doesn't understand, but she fights back, saying she doesn't have to. she just wants to help him, to love him, and for him to do the same. she's so out of character beck is terrified. he'll tenderly kiss her forehead, and wipe away her tears. she whispers that he should see someone, and he'll try and reassure her that he's fine. but he's not, and he's in denial. jade will then nod and let the subject drop, unconvinced.

he'll whisper, "i'm okay."

she'll sigh, "no. you're not."

/ /

he throws up. jade practically shoves a slice of pizza down his mouth, and he throws up. the bile burns his throat, and he sees a flash of red before he flushes the toilet and curls into a tight ball. he smirks, thinking he's out-smarted his girlfriend.

wrong, my friend.

/ /

so he's got this system. he'll eat a little, not a lot, but a little, slowly. when jade sets down a blt, no l, no t, extra b, he'll eat about one-third. and jade will bite her lip and sigh, and throw the plate away. it's better than nothing, she thinks. but it is nothing. he knows this, she doesn't. too bad. it probably would've saved his life. oh well.

he throws up that night, because he has to be amazing. he has to be a legend. everyone has to remember him. and maybe they (won't) will. maybe, maybe, maybe. his life is flooded with so many maybe's it's hard to keep track. maybe he'll eat this morning, maybe he'll run a three mile jog, twice a day, every day. maybe jade loves him still. maybe.

(oh well.)

/ /

jade squeezes his hand, and the therapist looks at him with beady eyes and a pointy nose.

"hello, beck."

he nods. jade bites her lip.

"how are you?"

he nods again.

"do you eat regularly?"

jade tenses up, and then she yells - "if he did, do you _think_ we'd be here?"

she cracks her knuckles and jumps up. she pulls beck out of the room. the therapist chuckles to himself.

"lost cause," he says.

jade mutters, "lost cause my ass."

beck frowns, he'll remember him - right?

right.

(wrong.)

/ /

he's working on his movie, and whoops - he collapses. he's rushed to the hospital, and jade and cat and the rest of them are there in an instant. his heart stops beating for two minutes. the doctor's call jade in, and she lays beside him, rubbing her thumb over his knuckles, whispering how much she loves him, over and over again. he frowns. she's out of character, again.

he has a heart attack, and the machines are screaming, and jade is yelling ("_just get the fuck out!"_) at the doctors, and he smiles through it all and pulls jade closer to him, before it is black forever. he thinks he dies beautiful, but he dies ugly and sick, in the arms of his love.

but they'll remember him, right?

...right?

/ /


End file.
